Have you ever felt that gnawing sense of unease, that heaviness in your heart, when you realize that what you desire is different from what others expect of you? It's a feeling that many of us are familiar with, and it's not easy to shake. The clash between our own desires and external expectations can leave us feeling a deep sense of unworthiness and a paralyzing fear of the unknown.
For most of my life, I struggled with the weight of wanting something different. It often seemed like everyone around me had their lives figured out, with their dreams and ambitions aligning perfectly with societal norms and expectations. But there I was, feeling like the odd one out, wanting something that didn't fit the mold. It was as if my dreams were painted in different colors, and I didn't know how to blend them with the more conventional shades around me.
The feeling of being different for not wanting what others want is something that can be incredibly isolating. It's easy to believe that there's something inherently wrong with you because your desires don't match the collective narrative. This is where the sense of unworthiness creeps in. You start to question your worth and your place in the world, wondering if you're deserving of what you truly want.
The fear of the unknown exacerbates these feelings. When you venture off the well-trodden path, there's no road map to follow, no clear signposts indicating where you should go. This fear can be paralyzing, preventing you from taking that first step toward your desires. You may wonder if you're making a mistake or if you're setting yourself up for disappointment. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, and it's easy to get caught in a cycle of doubt and indecision.
However, it's essential to recognize that these emotions are a natural part of the human experience. Feeling different for not wanting what others want doesn't make you less worthy or less deserving. It makes you unique and authentic. It's a testament to your individuality and your willingness to explore the depths of your desires, even when it means facing uncertainty.
So, how do we navigate these complex emotions and find the strength to pursue what we want, even when it doesn't align with external expectations?
Navigating the Complex Emotions of Wanting What You Want
1. **Self-Compassion**: Start by being kind to yourself. Understand that it's okay to want something different. Recognize that your desires are a reflection of your true self, and they deserve validation and respect.
2. **Embrace Uncertainty**: The unknown is a vast, uncharted territory, but it's also a realm of endless possibilities. Instead of fearing it, try to embrace it. View uncertainty as an opportunity for growth, learning, and adventure.
3. **Seek Support**: Share your feelings and desires with trusted friends or a mentor. They can provide guidance, encouragement, and a fresh perspective, helping you feel less isolated in your journey.
4. **Set Realistic Goals**: Break down your desires into manageable, realistic steps. By taking small actions, you can make the unknown feel less daunting and more conquerable.
5. **Practice Resilience**: Understand that setbacks are a part of any journey. Instead of viewing them as failures, see them as opportunities to learn and adapt.
Feeling bad about wanting something different is a struggle that many of us face, but it's important to remember that your unique desires are what make you who you are. They are worth pursuing, despite the feelings of unworthiness and the fear of the unknown. Your path is yours to create, and as you move forward, you'll discover that the journey itself is just as valuable as the destination. So, embrace your differences, face your fears, and chase your dreams. You deserve it.
XO,
Disco